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|| To anyone raised in the
80’s, few names have such impact as the Super Mario Brothers do.
We played their video games, watched their cartoon show, read
their newsletter, bought their merchandise, ate their breakfast
cereal, and even watched the piece of shit movie "The Wizard"
starring the young, chubby cheeked miscreant Fred Savage because
Super Mario Brothers 3 made an appearance.
But aside from the slightly racist
stereotyping of Mario and Luigi as food loving, NY fat bodies
with ridiculous Italian accents, was there anything really
insidious behind the scenes? The staff here at
Murderize.com has found something more,
something…sinister…lurking behind the mustached countenances
of Mario and Luigi. We don't have enough evidence to
prove anything, just a sparse trail of bread crumbs to follow.
And this trail begins with the game that started it all, Super
Mario Bros. Beware brainwashed fools, for this stunning
expose will change the way you look at your favorite Nintendo
hero forever. No longer the innocent Brooklyn plumbers,
it now appears Mario and Luigi are nothing more than communist
puppets engineered to program, oh so subtly, Marxist ideals
into our impressionable minds!
Mario’s Color Scheme
If anything can be said about
Mario, it is that he seems to wear quite a bit a red .
It’s on his name, it’s the color of his suspenders, his super
mushrooms, his flag, even his hat. But maybe this is all
just a string of coincidences. Maybe the color red being
all over Mario and his games means nothing. After all,
he's not entirely red - his hair, shirt and shoes
Or are they?
Is this just a random occurrence
by the Nintendo programmers, or was red selected intentionally
and with purpose?
The People's Hero
The inhabitants of the Mushroom
Kingdom are portrayed by Nintendo as slow-witted, poorly
coordinated beasts of burden. Even Toad, who oddly
enough gets captured in every world, seems only able repeat a
singular phrase. While Mario is supposedly fighting
against a tyrannical Despot, we can see how expendable the
people become when they hinder Mario’s bloodthirsty pursuit
While Mario’s quest to save the
princess seems genuine enough, we find ourselves easily
distracted from the real result of this adventure- the
deposition of the current monarchy. Few notice the
significance of the villain of this game, King Koopa, being an
|| While Mario is smashing
and stomping his way across the Mushroom Kingdom, a popular
government is being overthrown! Does this not bring our
minds to the Russian Revolution, where the entire Royal family
was deposed and executed by communists? Is the portrayal
of kings as vile reptiles not an important message?
One wonders what will become of the Princess he is attempting to
“rescue” once Red Mario seizes power himself…
Mario’s Flag Switching
|| At the end of each
level, Mario must remove a flag and raise his own. As with
every other duplicit facet of this game, nothing SEEMS wrong
here. But upon closer inspection the flags involved show
exactly where Mario’s loyalties lie:
|| Hmm a flag with the
peace symbol on it. Your militant dictatorship can't have
that, now can it Mario?
|| Once the castle is
seized and the resident leader sacked (and thrown into a lake of
fire), we see no more clearly what Mario’s intentions are, than
when he raises his own flag of victory.
What's that flying high over the
ramparts? The Peace symbol of the Mushroom Kingdom?
The Stars and Stripes? The Olive Branches of the United
Nations? No, we can see quite clearly it’s the Star
of Russia. Go check for yourself, these pictures are
not faked. It's in the fucking game.
Mario’s Family Resemblance?
Video game heroes are
traditionally people we would like to emulate. Sonic the
Hedgehog is fast and quick-witted. The Contra commandos
are total badasses, even if they die in 1 hit. And Link
wields a cool sword and has a harem of hot fairy bitches
waiting off of him. What kid worth his legos
wouldn't want to be any of these fine role models?
Why then, as their flagship hero, does Nintendo choose an
overweight, big nosed plumber with an ungainly mustache and
ridiculous suspenders? Why was this, the most unlikely
heroic figure, chosen? Unusual yes…but deliberate?
Looking at the evidence in light of this new Communist hidden
agenda, the answer for this mystery is obvious. Mario,
and his short-lived brother, are none other than cartoon
representations of Joseph Stalin. Stalin was Russia's
amicus humani, amor patriae or communist super man.
So could this "super" Mario represent another "super" man?
Well, that is for you to decide.