Excuses, Excuses!
  If you wonder why Johney and Jane can't write, take a look at some of the
 work by their parents, explaining reasons why their children missed a day of school:

     My son is under the doctor's care and should not take P.E. Please execute him.
     Please excuse Mary for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
     Please excuse my daughter's absence. She had her periodicals.
     Susan was not at school yesterday because she had her first menopause.
     Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
     Please forgive Clarence for being absent from school the past few days. He was home sick from an operation. He had
     penis trouble and had to be serpent sized.
     Robert was late because he was not early. He is never in no hurry. He is too slow to be quick.
     The basement of our house got flooded where the children sleep so they had to be evaporated.
     Dear School: Please excuse John from being absent on Jan.28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
     Please excuse Dianne from being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.
     Chris will not be in school. He has an acre in his side.
     John has been absent because he had two teeth taken off his face.
     Excuse Gloria. She has been under the doctor.
     My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fizical ed. Please execute him.
     Carols was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hit in the growing part.
     My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent this weekend with the Marines.
     Please excuse Joyce from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday, she fell off a tree and mis-placed her hip.
     Please excuse Ray today. he has very loose vowels.
     Maryann was absent Dec.11-16 because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also
     sick, fever and sore throat. Her brother had a low-grade fever. There must be the flu going around, her father even got hot
     last night.
     Ralph was absent yesterday. He had a sore trout.
     Please excuse Sara for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot.
     Please excuse Lupe. She is having problems with her ovals.
     Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahoah (crossed out), dyah (crossed out), the sh--ts.